American Ninja Warrior 9 Review: Kansas City Finals

So. Kansas City. That happened. I guess we should discuss what went down. You know, it's very important to talk about these things.

You know, sometimes these things happen. Sometimes the Broken Pipes prove to be a challenging obstacle. Sometimes people make mistakes on the Iron Maiden. And sometimes people just have difficulty cranking it.

...up. Cranking It Up. That's what I meant.

Oh yea, there were no finishers this episode. Oh well. No big deal.

American Ninja Warrior 9 Review: Cleveland Finals

It's the Cleveland Finals! With Jesse Labreck! And Jamie Rahn! And Najee Richardson! And Joe Moravsky! And a terrible f****** obstacle that ruined the whole thing!

I'm getting impatient with ANW. What should have been a great episode on paper left me confused and bored. ANW needs a change and it needs to come quickly.

American Ninja Warrior 9 Review: Daytona Beach Finals

The Daytona Beach Finals are in the books, and one ninja sped his way to the finish line! We get introduced to some giant cubes that aren't actually cubes and witness how challenging (and potentially dangerous) the Elevator Climb is.

Also, Jessie Graff does the splits, Sean Darling-Hammond becomes the nicest guy ever, and a bunch of my favorites get fast forwarded again!

American Ninja Warrior 9 Review: San Antonio Finals

I hate the Hourglass Drop. It's a bad obstacle and I hate that ANW still insists on using it.

Anyway, it's now time to talk about the San Antonio Regional Finals of American Ninja Warrior, which featured a really cool obstacle called the Spinball Wizard. Shame we didn't get to see much of it. Oh well.

Anyway, this episode had some great performances from Daniel Gil, Barclay Stocket, Karsten Williams, Thomas Stillings, and Brent Steffensen. And Kacy Catanzaro put on her best performance in years. Also, a miracle happened; Nicholas Coolridge actually got airtime!